You look amazing, but..

Adore her.









Has anyone ever said that to you? Maybe I am overly sensitive or I work in a weight-obsessed field, but it really drives me crazy when people comment on other people's weight. I don't even think a positive comment is acceptable. What's the point? If you are telling someone they lost weight and they look great, they could have an eating disorder and you don't even know it. They could take that comment, tell themselves that since they are not eating everyone thinks they look great and they should just stay that way. Or they could get worse. Instead of commenting on someone's weigh, say how much you love the outfit or a new hairstyle. It sounds so cliche but it really works.

I don't know about you guys, but when someone comments on my weight, I feel really uncomfortable and I tend not to forget it, even if its positive. Like, in high school I had this friend who was a little bigger than me but her sister was a 00 and I liked her pants, and she said, "They would actually fit you, but not your hips." That's one of the only things I remember about that friendship, which is embarrassing, but true. OR the time when a patient at work said to me, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way like I'm hitting on you or anything because I'm straight, but I never noticed how cute your body is. You are PACKING back there!" Attention: this is NOT a compliment. You may think fuller butts are nice but you do not need to comment on them. OK, the WORST is when a guy I was seeing called me...thick. It wasn't that long ago so its very fresh. I got obsessed with trying to defend myself. I became a girl that I don't like.
Me: But I go to the gym!
Him: You do?
Me: I wear a size 2!
Him: Yeah, you're thin but curvy, like, with a butt.
Me (smiling): OK, that's fine. I want some curves.
Him: Yeah, but you really shouldn't gain any weight. You don't want it to get bigger, you know?

I guess this is acceptable and even a compliment in his Puerto Rican culture which is one of the many reasons why I am obsessed with it. But don't you want a guy/girl to lie and say you are too skinny and should gain weight? Even if its not true? I'm most likely just being a 22 year old girl and I'll get over it. That still doesn't excuse my grand-mom telling me that my pants are too tight and I'm not "skinny mini" any more.

It sounds stuck up, bitchy, immature, but I'm trying to be honest here. What has the world come to when a size 2 is considered to have "a little bit of fat all over?" (Me, according to a trainer at the gym.) I've seen so many celebrities in real life and the ones that you think are "curvy" are actually really normal. Will I grow out of this? My roommate is 28 and says that it does get easier as you get older. I can't wait!

OMG, you guuuys!

She's adorable.

I can't wait for the pink clothes, the crazy dog, the hysterical dialogue, to music! I love when I told my BFF Melissa, she screamed on the phone because it really is that exciting. Oh yeah, Legally Blonde is now on Broadway. I've been hearing really good things about it through the Broadway grapevine so you must check it out.

What's buggin' me.

Prada Spring 2007: fabulous, of course, but sexy?










What's buggin' me today is boys. The whowhatweardaily.com email today got me thinking. It was about a guy's opinion on girl's clothing. It isn't something I usually care about but this is the first time I've been single in a long, really long, time. I find myself contemplating the most odd things. All of a sudden I care about what people think. OK, let me rephrase that; I care about what someone I am attracted to thinks. Guys don't usually get the way I dress. I feel like guys, or girls, want to see a girl in a denim mini, ski high heels, and a tube top. *Shudder* Then there's me, in my tent dress, gladiator wedges, and brown Prada-esque head wrap (not to mention faux bangs.) Adorable, but not exactly hot. Maybe I should dye my hair platinum, put in hot rollers, and break out some 90's crop-tops. Been there, done that. As my girl Katherine Mcfee says, "I'm over it."
I matured, physically, really young so I have always been aware of my body. Having your period and C cups by the 4th grade can make you do some crazy things. I worse the lowest jeans and the smallest shirts and ALWAYS was with someone. Not only is that NOT in style, I'm not interested in showing my body off anymore. My male coworker always tells me, "You can't even see a waist in that thing!" I'm like, I know! That's the point! So my question is, girls and boys out there, does it even matter? Am I going to be single forever unless I show some cleavage?
Getting back to the email, the guy hated every single outfit and I loved all of them. I DID meet a cute guy on the train though. He had cute shoes which he told me were from Payless! Of course, he's a drag queen so it really doesn't solve my problem. Still, check him out at www.thepixieshow.com. So..what do you think? Do the clothes matter?

Not very nice.

I cannot believe they did that to Jordin! So, no one goes home. I get that it was a positive episode so they didn't want to vote anyone off but they didn't have to do that to her. I thought it was going to be corny but tonight's episode was really good. They really made me believe that the little bit of money I could donate actually would make a difference. If you can, give some money!

Libra + Taurus= 2gether 4 ever?

The title is so old school, I know. I'm feeling nostalgic. Its working with my "Bayside High" t-shirt and bright green tapered pants.

I haven't dated A LOT of people but I have had my fair share of long relationships. I was wondering, do you guys believe in "signs?" There isn't a lot I DO believe in, except science. Still, sometimes I can't help but think that I am SUCH a Libra. I cannot make a hard decision. I can't even choose my major. I really do look at both sides of things; I'm totally fair. More than anything, I am ALWAYS attracted to Taurus'. It drives me crazy! Every big relationship I have had has been with a Taurus. Anyone else I dated that wasn't a Taurus, I really wasn't that into. Crazy, right? I KNOW I'm not doing it on purpose. I never know what someone is until we really get to know each other. I was thinking about it more today because I saw a guy that I have had a crush on for a while. He could not be a worse crush. He's much older. We really have nothing in common, but something is there that I can't explain. Oh yeah, and the big thing is that he's getting married May 27th. I know, I know, I would never ever actually be with him in this situation; Its just a crush. I think what is worse is that they are getting married in the spot that I dream about getting married in-a garden in Central Park. (Of course.) I had to listen to him tell people alllll the details today over and over. It was so depressing. Why do we want want we can't have? So, we were talking about life like we usually do and he said something about being a Taurus and I was like, no way! They are so stubborn and the relationship always ends badly but I can't help being attracted. Do you guys notice things like this? I googled it and this is what I found. What do you think?

"In some instances, this combination can be the unification of two halves of a whole. In essence, Libra and Taurus are thought of as being karmic-ally linked. Both are looking for security in a relationship and they do share a love of art, poetry and culture. This is a partnership that may begin slowly since, on the surface, they might have few common interests. Still, once they come to understand each other, they may learn they have much more in common than was initially apparent. Both partners appreciate fine dining, the theater, music and collecting art. Pleasure...physical and aesthetic...is a premium for Libra and Taurus alike. Natives of both these Signs love to woo and be wooed. Thus, courtship will be a necessary component of any romantic union and since both have this need, they fit well together. The Taurus partner is sure to appreciate Libra's charm and if stubborn Taurus fails to get his or her way, then the Libra partner will be able to smooth things over and keep the peace. In addition, Libra will appreciate the luxuries that sensual Taurus provides. Furthermore, the Libra partner can help Taurus to see different sides of a given situation and the Taurus native will be able to assist Libra in overcoming the notorious indecision associated with this Zodiac Sign." -www. novarienna.com

And no,

I haven't called the banker. I will, I swear.

Chickens, Stalkers, and Loner-ness.

Make your own KFC sign at peta2.com

I promise; I'm not going to preach. Of course I wish everyone would stop eating meat but I would never say that because it isn't (really) any of my business. KFC is one of those corporations that go beyond..OK i'll stop. If you are interested, go to the Peta website. You can add words to this billboard like I did. Its silly, but also read about the things that KFC does to animals.

Switching gears, maybe its a little to early to call him a stalker but a weird thing happened to me today and I don't really know what to think. I just joined a new bank and I was really excited about it. Like many college students, especially here in NYC, I'm really tight on cash but I got my tax return, paid off some bills, and was feeling very adult and responsible. When I went to the bank the other day, the manager really helped me out with my account. He cleared some checks for me that wouldn't have been cleared yet and some other little things, nothing huge. So today, I went back in because I didn't get my mac card (wait, that's so PA, I meant my ATM card) and I needed to make a deposit. The same manager was there so he helped me out. OK, get this: A few hours later, he called my cell and asked me out. Now, I didn't give him my number so he obviously got it from the bank records. I KNOW he's not aloud to do that. He's nice enough; He's young and isn't creepy or anything but still. It's a little strange. He caught me totally off guard so I didn't really say no exactly, which I should have, but I did tell him I was really busy. He called again a few hours later and left a message. I didn't call back but I was walking home thinking, "He knows my address". Because of that, I need to call him back and nip this in the bud. What do I say? I'll probably play the gay card so he's not offended. Am I overreacting thinking its a little creepy? What would you guys do?

So, he's a nice enough guy, why don't I just go out with him? Well, I'm in a loner stage. I have been in a relationship since I was 12 years old and I'm just over it at the moment. I want to go to the gym, read mags all day at B & N, and watch DVR 'till I pass out. I work all the time, while trying to focus on my dreams. Have you guys ever been in this stage? Its normal, right? My grand-mom tells people that I don't have a social life. Maybe I don't have the BIGGEST one right now but I'm OK with that. Like, really OK. I'm going to a party Sunday night so I'm not CRAZY anti-social ;) I'm watching Queer as Folk reruns and getting ready for bed. Have a great weekend!!

I'm pathetic.

I cried when Sanjaya lost. I can't help it-I love the kid! He really just makes me happy to watch. He needs his own show doing something. An entertainment reporter? I wonder if he likes fashion? He could be in a toothpaste commerical with those teeth! Am I crazy??

The Top 7

Rundown of the Top 7 last night:

My fav Blake: I thought it was OK. He's always good but country did NOT suit him and I miss the beat boxing.
Lakisha: I didn't like her at all. I felt like she was screaming! Something about it seems like she was trying to hard. And who dresses her??
Sanjaya: He's a great performer but no, he was not a good singer last night. I think he has run his course. He DID make me smile a lot though and I think that's a great quality.
Melinda: I actually last night was the first time Melinda seemed like an Idol to me. She looked and sounded younger. I hope she keeps it up!

Chris: Well, he is the best dressed guy. I LOVE the way he looks every night. Last night's performance was not so great. He may go home. I hope he doesn't yet because I think he can do better.
Phil: I don't usually like Phil. When he doesn't wear a hat I REALLY don't like him. I don't know why and its not a very nice thing to say. Phil was really great last night though. It was a great vocal and a lot of fun. I still think he will be in the bottom 3.


Last but SO not least, the amazing Jordin: The dress. The hair. The voice. The dress. OK, I know they need to sing also and not just look good but she managed to do both. She really could win!

Sadness

Its been so sad hearing about everything happening in VA that I am trying to not think about it. I feel so selfish but if I obsess over something ELSE that I can't control I will lose my mind. Columbine, than 9/11, the Bush administration, gay rights, the innocent Iraqis AND the troops in the war, global warming, animal cruelty, ugh, I could go on forever! I know I'm not selfish. I campaign for Peta, I give money to the HRC, I vote and recycle. Today I NEED a distraction. I feel guilty but it overwhelms me. Do you guys feel this at all? I didn't have family in 9/11, but it still makes me cry randomly. I don't even know anyone in VA and its making me so sad. Before you even say it, yes, I have been on antidepressants since I was young, but this is different. I get so mad at some people, like my BFF Danielle who doesn't recycle or vote (ahhhh), or my brother who doesn't really feel any sadness for things like VTech. I get mad, but a part of me envies them. I have my own problems, my own life to deal with, and I know I need to focus on the positive while not being ignorant to the things happening in our world. I'm just going to try to do the best I can. I guess that's all I can do. Tomorrow, an American Idol post because its a positive, fun, distraction. Stay tuned! 2 words: Jordin's dress! *Sigh.

The next big thing

I've known about Shia Labeouf forever since I'm the girl who (currently) watches Even Stevens (Shia's show as a kid), The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, That's So Raven, etc. Shia is adorable and a great actor. LOVE "Holes." Now the world will know about him because of his new awesome new movie "Disturbia." If you are going to see a movie, skip the so-obvious-its-annoying "Perfect Stranger" and go see "Disturbia." It's so scary but awesome. Warning: If you don't like scary movies you may want to see "Year of the Dog."

I would rather be home with Tivo

I'm a little late catching up but I love DVR. I went away for the weekend and couldn't wait to get home and watch everything it recorded. Sad? I need a social life. I'm already through "The View," "Brothers and Sisters," (LOVE) and "Entourage." It sounds like a lot but I got it in in an hour and a half somehow. AND I'm sort of doing homework. Tonight is the last night I am going to watch 4 TV shows. I signed back up for the gym today. Of course instead of figuring out which class to take tomorrow I am trying to decided what to wear. Gym clothes are so expensive! My ideal is to go all out 80's with American Apparel. I know, its sweat-shop free which is great and all but its not exactly cheap for a whole outfit. Where do you get cute workout wear??

Freedom of Speech?

“If the Jews want to get it on, tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house."
"Talk about how Oppenheimer in South Africa sends diamonds straight to Tel Aviv and deals with the diamond merchants right here in Crown Heights."
"I'm not your little faggot like (name deleted for respect.)"

Al Sharpton and Issiah Washington dissing Jews and gays respectively. Was there any suspension? Did anyone get fired? Not that I think they should have been. We are SUPPOSED to have freedom of speech in this country. No one thinks what Don Imus said was OK but doesn't he have a right to say whatever he wants?
To play devil's advocate against myself, CBS radio fired him because advertisers pulled out. And you can't have a radio show with no ads. BUT this was only after the media tore him apart.
When I heard what he said, I got chills through my body. It was so rude and disrespectful to these girls. But the problem is, I feel the same way when I hear some of the things Howard Stern says. So I don't listen. End of story.
I can't help but wonder, did anyone even stop watching Grey's Anatomy? Aside from the weak story lines, it continues to do well. I even watch it. Obviously there are double standards, but the million dollar question is, what can we do about them?

Thanks for the place of the pic! I don't think it looks THAT great here but I still love it. Does anyone watch Top Model? It was so good last night. I really love Britney (below). I think she's my favorite.



I also really like Dionne more and more.



If you guys watch, who do you like? Last night's episode was so good. I loved the idea for the shoot. I was sad to see Whitey go because she's soooo pretty but they were right; She didn't have that much spark in her eyes in the pictures and you can't just be pretty. I understand this stuff. I would be SUCH a good model...if I were 1/2 a foot taller and lost my hips.

Ahhh "Jennifer Lopez," we love you.

I'm using her name in quotes because she doesn't like JLo anymore so I am going to respect her wishes. (JLo is cute though.) This is an old pic but I love this dress and there isn't a pic of her Idol dress online yet. I just need to scream to anyone that will listen how amaaaazzing it was. Goodbye Haley, Jennifer sang great, and Sanjaya is still there, but Jennifer's dress is what gave me chills. What is that and where can I get it? I guess I should email www.whowhatweardaily.com. They'll figure it out. My new obsession! I loved hearing about yours. The hiking and biking activities are awesome. I wish they were mine and not Cadbury Eggs! More later. What did you guys think of the results?

He's no Chris Daughtry but..

I still love him! He may not have the most powerful voice or be tall and hunky but he makes me happy to watch and that's what an "Idol" is supossed to do, right? Melinda's great but I don't really feel like she is an Idol. Wouldn't it be awesome if it were Jordan and Blake in the finals? I would pay to see that. Sanjaya makes me happy also but no, he shouldn't win. OK, maybe you are sick of AI talk.





I know its been hot for a while, but I can't stop thinking about the YSL Muse bag. It has become a total obsession. I keep seeing women with it in the city. I saw a 17 year old with it! It COULD have been fake but it looked real. What are your current obsessions??

Exhaustion

* I apologize for the spelling. The spell check isn't working and I'm too tired to care!
It was such a long day! But a good one. Thanks so much for the nice words. If you are not in NYC, it was snowing yesterday! It was supossed to be early Spring on The Sopranos set so I was wearing a light jacket and freezing to death. Like really, I couldn't feel my feet and we were outside for about 5 hours. It was still awesome though. It was boring and monotnous, we did the same thing over and over, but awesome. What's even better is that you meet people. I met a really nice girl who just moved into my 'hood so I invited her over to watch the new season. We shot at Montclair High School in NJ which was really nice and pretty. Just cold. I PROMISED my BFF Danielle I would meet her at the Yankees game at 7:05 for the first pitch and at 6 we were still in Jersey so it really wasn't looking good. So I hopped a ride with these two girls in front of me in line to fill out paperwork and they dropped me off at a train station so I could get back into the city quicker than the van we drove in on. It was so nice of them. I didn't make 7:05 but I was pretty close. We only stayed 'til 9 though because we were freezing. I had finally gotten warm! There was no amount of hot choclate that was helping so we went and had dinner and I went to bed.

To answer the question of my fainting spell, it was at an HBO shoot for the documenty "Addiction." I'm sure you have seen the ads around. They're everywhere! I'm just in the ads and the promos. The documentry is real people with addiction. Well to make a very long story short, I had barley eaten, the studio in Brooklyn was really hot, there were really bright lights, and I was up on the top of a bleacher. It was like a movie. Everything went black and I went down. So embarassing! I cringe still thinking out it. This nice man carried me off and people ran and got orange juice to bring my sugar back up. The people on that shoot were the nicest people I have ever worked with in my life. They made me feel so comfortable for the rest of the 2 day shoot. The photographer kept asking me if I was alright! ugh. It was an experience.

On a fashion obsessed note, I need a new pair of wide leg jeans but can't spend $200. Has anyone found good ones? Forever 21 had cute ones but they didn't fit well.

Everyone have the best holiday! I'm going to my grandmom's to eat and watch episode after episode of Law and Order. Back to the real world...

My 2nd Fav Family

So many of us have dreams. It may sound corny, but you know the deal. You are supposed to be doing homework or helping a client at work and you're thinking of it. When someone asks you what you want to do with your life, you pause before answering. I have always kept mine a secret for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I didn't want anyone to knock it down. Also, it's kinda' nice to keep it to myself. Well, I'm done...mostly. I'm "out" as a wanna-be actor to most of the people close to me. I just love it. Of course I want some money to be comfortable in this city, but I really just want to be in crazy, provocative, amazing movies/T.V. shows. OK, goal set now the hard part of actually stop being a wuss and put myself out there. Why is it so scary? It isn't just the rejection that I am obviously going to face. I don't really know what it is. Its easier to sit at home, watching Top Model, and hoping I'll get discovered when I actually go out. The problem is, it doesn't happen. And if it does, its to 5'10'' leggy tourists taking pictures of buildings in Times Square. Needless to say, that's not me. So I have to start knocking down doors. I need to get them slammed in my face. Easier said than done. Now, I have other goals, like working at a top fashion mag, and teaching Special Needs kids. So if this acting thing doesn't work out, there are other things I would be happy doing. But I won't know if I can do it until I try.
I'm sure you're wondering why I have a picture of the Sopranos family. Tomorrow I am being a high school student in a episode of the new season. It a super tiny job, but its something. Any ideas on what to wear? What do Jersey high school kids wear now? I'm nervous and I don't know why. I don't even have to say anything! Its a mixture of actually working towards my dream and also because last time I worked for HBO I fainted in front of 100 people. That's a whole other post.
What are you guys most afraid of accomplishing? And why is it so scary? Since I'm doing this tomorrow, I want everyone to conquer something that makes them uncomfortable. My dad always told me that the hardest thing to do is usually the right thing and it seems to be turning out to be true. I'll let you know how it goes! xo

Skinny Shoes

The world, or just NYC, is going crazy over these shoes. From the company MBT, http://www.blissworld.com/product/code/MBT-23.do?showPrevNext=false these sneakers are supossed to do everything from reducing celulite to getting rid of back pain. Sounds too good to be true, right? At $254 dollars a pop, they are an investment but less than 3 months at the gym. Physical Therapists have told me how much of a joke they are and how I will probably break my ankle trying to wear them. There is also the fact that they are really ugly. Even so, I can't help but want them because maybe they will work at making my butt smaller for bikini season. I feel like the fact that so many people have them, they have to at least work a little. Is that want they want us to think? Am I falling into the "diet pill" mentality that I always stayed away from?